Miscellaneous

 

Dear Lord, if you can't make me skinny, please make my friends fat

 

Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges!

 

Age is only a number, and mine is unlisted

 

Any day above ground is a good day

 

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it

 

It's not nagging when I'm right!

 

Don't rush me- I'm waiting for the last minute

 

Any woman looking for a husband has obviously never had one

 

If at first you don't succeed, try your wife's way

 

If you're smoking in here, you'd better be on fire

 

Everybody Have Fun Tonight

 

Am I cool or what?

 

A Thing of beauty is a joy forever     

 

To be a star, you must shine your own light, follow your own path and don't worry about the darkness for that is when the stars shine the brightest.

 

A day in the life

 

Campfire Cooking

 

I am a Child of God

 

Jeep>>>>just empty every pocket.......for the jeep lovers....you know what i mean

 

Just Clowning Around

 

May your day bubble over with fun

 

Mug Shots (use mugs as die-cuts)

 

Never Too Young

 

Sight seeing

 

Sliding Around

 

Snap, Crackle, Pop! (by a fire)

 

Somethings Fishy... But I think I "sea" what is going on.

 

Strike a pose!

 

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

~~~

A bragging woman and a crowing hen--

always come to not good in the end.

~~~

A chain is only as strong as it's weakest link.

 

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

 

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

 

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

 

A conversation does not have to be long to be significant.

 

A diamond is a chunk of coal that was made good under pressure.

~~~

A doctor can bury his mistakes, 

but an architect can only advise his clients

to plant vines.

~~~

A fool is the person who makes a quarrel of a debate.

 

A good beginning makes a good ending.

~~~

A good thing to remember, and a better thing to do, 

is work with the construction gang and not the wrecking crew.

~~~

A gossiper is like an old shoe...

it's tongue never stay in place !!

~~~

A hint is something we often drop but rarely pick up.

 

A journey of a thousand miles beings with one footstep.

 

A kind word is never wasted.

~~~

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature 

to stop speech when words become superfluous.

~~~

A miss is as good as a mile.

 

A penny for your thoughts.

~~~

A person can fail many times 

but it isn't a failure 

until he begins to blame others.

~~~

A person is known by the company he keeps.

 

A person who aims at nothing has a target he can't miss.

~~~

A person who thinks too highly of himself 

has farther to fall when he fails.

~~~

A person's mind is like a parachute.

To work, it first has to be open.

~~~

A pessimist complains about the noise opportunity knocks.

 

A rolling stone gathers no moss.

 

A self-made man is an example of unskilled labor.

 

A shut mouth gathers no foot.

 

A single fact can spoil a good argument.

~~~

A wise man knows everything.

A shrewd one, everybody.

~~~

A wish is a desire without

any attempt to attain it.

~~~

Ability will enable a man to get to the top,

 but it takes character to keep him there.

~~~

Act sincere...even if you don't mean it.

 

Actions speak louder than words.

 

Alcohol preserves everything but dignity.

 

All good roads lead to Rome.

 

All sunshine makes a desert.

 

All that glitters is not gold.

~~~

All the flowers of all the tomorrows....

are in the seeds of today.

~~~

All things are possible except skiing through a revolving door.

 

All work and no pay...makes a housewife.

 

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

 

All's fair in love and war.

 

Alls well that ends.

 

Alls well that ends well.

~~~

Always and never

are two words

to always remember never to use.

~~~

Always behave like a duck...

Keep calm and unruffled on the surface...

But paddle like the devil underneath.

~~~

All opt for comfort.

 

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

 

Always try to be modest. And be damn proud of it!

 

An adult is someone who stopped growing, except in the middle.

 

An army marches on its stomach.

~~~

An explanation of cause

is not a justification by cause.

~~~

An optimist is someone who tells you to cheer up 

when things are going his way.

~~~

An optimist thinks that this is the best of all possible worlds.

A pessimist fears that it might true.

~~~

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

 

Anger opens the mouth and shuts the mind.

 

Anatomically correct beats politically correct ANY DAY !

 

Anger is one letter short of danger.

 

Any day above ground is a good day.

~~~

Any idiot can face a crisis....

it's this day-to-day living that wears you out.

~~~

Anyone who angers you conquers you.

~~~

Anytime you find that truth stands in your way...

you can be certain that you are headed in the wrong direction.

~~~

Appreciation is like an insurance policy.

You have to keep renewing it.

~~~

As honest as the day is long.

 

As sure as night follows day.

 

As the crow flies.

 

As the twig is bent, so shall the tree grow.

 

Ask no questions and hear no lies.

 

Assumption is the mother of all screwups !

~~~

Bad news travels fast.

~~~

"Be a winner, be a star, be happy to be who you are."

~~~

Be careful what you wish for.

You just might get it.

~~~

Be happy 

for today is a good day to die.

"Sata Poka ha"

~~~

Be tolerant...but not overly accommodating.

 

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

 

Beauty in things exists in the mind which contemplates them.

~~~

Beauty is only skin deep.

~~~

Beauty is truth, truth beauty...

that is all ye know on earth,

and all ye need to know.

~~~

Because nice counts....

 

Beggars should not be choosers.

~~~

Beginnings are scary, endings sad, 

but it's the middle that counts the most.

Remember that when you find yourself there.

~~~

Better late than never.

 

Better safe than sorry.

 

Better to bend than to break.

 

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

~~~

Birdy, birdy in the sky

Drop some white stuff in my eye,

I'm a good girl ...I won't cry,

I'm just lucky....cows don't fly !!

~~~

Blessed are the brief for they shall have lower phone bills.

~~~

Blessed are the flexible

for they shall not be bent out of shape !

~~~

Blessed are the joymakers.

 

Blessed are the meek, for they make great scapegoats.

~~~

Blessed are they who have nothing to say 

and cannot be persuaded to say it.

~~~

Blood is thicker than water.

 

Born to shop....forced to work !!

~~~

Bottled up inside are the words I never said,

the feelings that I hide,

the lines you never read.

You can see it in my eyes,

read it on my face,

trapped inside are lies, 

of the past I can't replace.

~~~

Bury the hatchet.

 

But honey we can afford it ! I just sold your car (computer, etc.)!!

 

Button, button...whose got the button?

 

Buyer beware.

 

By the yard it may be hard...but by the inch...it's a cinch !!

 

Can't see the forest for the trees.

 

Careful for what you wish for...you might just get it !

~~~

Change is inevitable,

except from a vending machine.

~~~

Character is determined by what you accomplish 

when the excitement is gone.

~~~

Cherish yesterday, Dream tomorrow, Live like crazy today.

 

Cherish Yesterday...Dream Tomorrow....Live Today

 

Close....but no cigar.

 

Close only counts in horseshoes and hand-grenades.

 

Close only counts in horseshoes, hand-grenades, and slow dancing.

 

Clothes make the man...the naked have little or no influence.

 

Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers.

 

Compost: because a rind is a terrible thing to waste.

~~~

Conscience is usually what hurts most 

when everything else feels so good.

~~~

Conserve water....shower with a friend.

~~~

Consider the tea pot. 

It's up to it's neck in hot water 

yet it keeps on singing.

~~~

Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today 

as you were a year ago.

~~~

Conscience is usually what hurts most 

when everything else feels so good.

~~~

Cream always rises to the top.

 

Cultivate a Gratitude Attitude

 

Dance 'till the cows come home.

 

Do as I say, not as I do.

 

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

~~~

Despite the cost of living,

have you noticed how it remains so popular ?

~~

Diplomacy...the art of letting someone have your way.

 

Diplomacy...the art of thinking twice before saying nothing.

 

Don't be consistent, but be simply true.

~~~

Don't buy a pig in a poke.

 

Don't count your chickens before they hatch.

~~~

Don't ever try to teach a pig to sing,

it irritates the pig and wastes your time.

~~~

Don't get mad....get even !

~~~

Don't hurry, don't worry. You're only here for a short visit. 

So be sure to stop and smell the flowers.

~~~

Don't just be good.  Be good for something.

 

Don't let anything ever be ordinary.

 

Don't let the bed bugs bite.

 

Don't let your sorrow come higher than your knees.

 

Don't look back, they might be gaining on you.

 

Don't make a mountain out of a mole hill.

~~~

Don't meddle in the affairs of dragons

for you are crunchy and good with catsup !!

~~~

Don't question your feelings,

however, question your actions.

~~~

Don't rob your fellow man....

the taxation department

does not like competition.

~~~

Don't sit in the middle of the fence.

 

Don't stir up a hornet's nest.

 

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty thing !

 

Don't sweat the small stuff .

 

Don 't throw out the baby with the bath water.

 

Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.

 

Don't worry about bitin' off more than you can chew.

~~~

Don't worry about the world ending today.

It's already tomorrow in Australia !

~~~

Don't worry about tomorrow...

today has enough trouble of it's own.

~~~

Doubt is the beginning, not the end, of wisdom.

~~~

Each day is more evidence of forever.

 

Ego kills creativity.

 

Easy come...Easy go.

~~~

Early to bed and up with the sun...

Makes a man miss a lot of fun !!

~~~

Early to bed...early to rise...

Makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.

~~~

Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity.

 

Eight for Eight.

~~~

Encouragement is like premium gas,

it helps take the knocks out of living !

~~~

Equal opportunity means everybody

will have a fair chance at being incompetent.

~~~

Even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a  while.

~~~

Even if you are on the right track, 

you will get run over if you just sit there !

~~~

Even an Owl can cast the Shadow of an Eagle.

 

Even the blind pig finds the corn sometime.

~~~

Even though the tongue weighs practically nothing....

it's surprising how few are able to hold it !!

~~~

Every ass loves to hear himself bray !

 

Every cloud has a silver lining.

 

Every day is more evidence of forever.

 

Every day matters.

 

Every exit is an entrance somewhere else.

 

Every man dies...not every man really lives.

 

Every private citizen has a public responsibility.

 

Every tub must stand on its own bottom.

 

Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.

~~~

Everyday from this day on is a gift...use it well.

~~~

Everyone has a photographic memory.

Some don't have film.

~~~

Everyone has attitude,

everyone needs attitude,

but not everyone has

the attitude they need.

~~~

Everything can be taken away from a man but...

the last of the human freedoms--

to choose one's attitude in any given

set of circumstances.

~~~

Experience...a name everyone gives to his mistakes.

 

Experience is the best teacher but the tuition is costly.

 

Failure is success if we learn from it.

~~~

Fate exists but it an only take you so far.  

Because once you're there

It's up to you...to make it happen.

~~~

Fear less, hope more;

whine less, breathe more;

talk less, say more;

hate less, love more;

and all the good things are yours.

~~~

Few wishes ever come true by themselves.

~~~

Flatter me, and I may not believe you.

Criticize me, and I may not like you.

Ignore me, and I may not forgive you.

Encourage me, and I may not forget you.

~~~

Fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me twice, shame on me.

~~~

For every door that closes...a window opens.

 

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

 

Forgive and forget.

~~~

Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those 

who trespass against us,

although them again we will never trust.

~~~

Forgiveness is the fragrance

of the violet left on the heel

that has crushed it.

~~~

Forewarned is forearmed.

 

Four sheets into the wind.

~~~

Gentle as you go....

~~~

Gifts are what a man has,

but grace are what a man is.

~~~

Give forgiveness if it is asked for.

 

Give me ambiguity or give me something else !!

~~~

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, 

and just as hard to sleep after.

~~~

Good enough really isn't good enough.

~~~

Good fences make good neighbors.

~~~

Good night, sleep tight,

and don't let the bed bugs bite.

~~~

Great minds discuss ideas;

Average minds discuss events;

Small minds discuss people.

~~~

Great minds think alike....fools seldom differ.

~~~

Grief can take care of itself, 

but to get the full value of a joy

you must have somebody to divide it with.

~~~

Half a loaf is better than none.

 

Handicapped is not helpless.

 

Hard work is the yeast that raises the dough.

 

Hard work pays off in the future....laziness pays off now.

 

Haste makes waste.

~~~

Haste trips its own heels,

and fetters and stops itself

~~~

Have a good mind.

~~~

Have a heart that never hardens,

and a temper that never tires,

and a touch that never hurts.

~~~

He acts like he was raised in a barn.

 

He is as sharp as a spoon.

 

He walks to the beat of a different drummer.

~~~

He who forgives...ends the quarrel.

~~~

He who has health...has hope.

He who has hope...has everything !

~~~

He who has no principle draws little interest.

 

He who is content with nothing...possesses all things !

 

He who hesitates is lost.

 

He who hesitates is probably right.

 

He who laughs last probably didn't get the joke.

 

He who lives by the sword shall die by the sword.

 

He who is wrapped up in himself makes a small package.

 

He who obtains has nothing....he who scatters has everything !!

 

He who seeks revenge should remember to dig two graves.

 

He who slings mud looses ground.

~~~

Hear no evil--speak no evil--

and you'll never be invited to a party.

~~~

Heat is required to forge anything. 

Every great accomplishment 

is the story of a flaming heart.

~~~

Here today....gone tomorrow.

 

Hindsight is 20/20.

 

History repeats itself.

 

Hold your horses !

 

Honesty is the best policy.

 

Hope is one of the principal springs that keep mankind in motion.

~~~

How can I keep my feet on the ground....??

When I know I was born to fly.

~~~

I am more than  I know myself to be.

 

I believe in getting into hot water, it keeps you clean.

 

I believe in myself because you do too.

 

I bend but I do not break.

~~~

I can disagree with a word you say,

but I'll fight to death

your right to say it.

~~~

I can only show you the door it's up to you to walk through it.

 

I did it my way.

~~~

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell --

you see, I have friends in both places.

~~~

I either want less corruption, 

or more chance to participate in it.

~~~

I feel like I'm diagonally

parked in a parallel universe.

~~~

I got lost in thought...it was such unfamiliar territory.

 

I gotta be me.

 

I intend to live forever...so far, so good !

 

I may not always be perfect, but I'll always be me !

~~~

I may not always be right,

but I'm never wrong !

~~~

I need that like I need a hole in my head.

 

I not only believe in miracles...I depend on them.

~~~

I owe it to myself, I worked for it, 

and nobody is going to deprive me of it!

~~~

I personally believe we've developed language 

because of our deep need to complain.

~~~

I started out with nothing...I still have most of it.

~~~

I tore myself from the safe comfort of certainties

through my love for truth; and truth rewarded me.

~~~

I used to cry because I had no shoes,

until I saw a man with no feet.

~~~

I used to have an open mind

but my brains kept falling out.

~~~

I want to be the best me possible.

~~~

I wonder how much deeper

the ocean would be

without sponges.

~~~

I would if I could but I can't...so I won't !!

 

I would if I could, but I can't so don't ask.

 

I wouldn't touch that with a ten foot pole.

~~~

I'd rather be a failure at something I enjoy 

than a success at something I hate !

~~~

I'd rather die on my feet than continue living on my knees.

~~~

I'd trade all of my tomorrows

for one single yesterday.

~~~

Ideas have consequences.

 

Idle hands are a devil's workshop.

 

Idleness is the holiday of fools.

 

If I could remember your name I'd ask you where I left my keys.

~~~

If I'm too strong for some people,

that's their problem.

~~~

If it tastes good....spit it out !

It's probably bad for you !!

~~~

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

 

If some people said what they thought, they'd be speechless !

~~~

If someone betrays you once, it's his fault.

If he betrays you twice, it's your fault.

~~~

If the going gets easy, you may be going downhill.

 

If there's skin showin'......lotions goin' !!

 

If you can't bite...don't show your teeth.

 

If you chase two rabbits....both will escape.

 

If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you stop helping me.

~~~

If one person calls thee a donkey...pay him no mind. 

If two people call thee a donkey...get thee a saddle.

~~~

If the shoe fits, wear it.

~~~

If the shoe fits,

get another on just like it !

~~~

If there is a possibility of several things going wrong 

the one that will cause the most damage 

will be the one to go wrong.

~~~

If we do not change our direction...we are likely to end up where we left off !

~~~

If you have trouble going to sleep at night...

lie at the very edge of the bed...you'll soon drop off !

~~~

If we could see ourselves as others see us 

we would vanish on the spot.

~~~

If we don't change, we don't grow.

If we don't grow, we aren't really living.

~~~

If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough !

~~~

If you are humble nothing will touch you, 

neither praise nor disgrace

because you know what you are.

~~~

If you can't understand it, it is intuitively obvious.

~~~

If you don't have time to do it right...

when will you have time to do it over..??

~~~

You don't know where you're going,

any road will take you there.

~~~

If you can't beat them, join them.

 

If you don't like the news, go out and make some.

 

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin' !!

~~~

If you haven't anything to die for,

what do you have to live for?

~~~

If you never expect anything you'll never be disappointed !

~~~

If you obey the rules

you miss all the fun.

~~~

If you tell the truth,

you do not have to remember anything.

~~~

If you think you can, or, you think you cannot,

You are absolutely right.

~~~

If you wait all that happens is that you get older.

~~~

If you've tried your hand at almost everything and failed, 

why not try your head?

~~~

Ignorance can be cured...stupidity is forever.

 

I'll rise but I refuse to shine !!

 

I'm a nobody...nobody is perfect...therefore...I'm perfect !!

 

I'm going to jerk a knot in your tail.

 

I'm going to see a man about a horse.

 

I'm less afraid of heights, than afraid of widths.

 

I'm not a has been....I'm a will be.

 

I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week.

 

I'm not losing my mind...I'm just one sandwich short of a picnic.

 

I'm not slow...the world's just a little bit fast.

 

I'm not tense...just terribly, terribly alert !

 

I'm out of bed and I'm dressed...what more do you want..???

~~~

Imagination was given to man 

to compensate him for what he is not, 

a sense of humor to console him

for what he is.

~~~

In a blink of an eye.

 

In a world full of copies....I'm an original !

 

In for a penny, in for a pound.

 

In order to lose one's mind....one must have one to lose !

 

In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.

 

Inconsistency breeds chaos.

 

Indecision is the key to flexibility.

 

Is there life after kids ??

(housework-yard work-laundry-etc.)

 

It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

~~~

It is all right to talk to yourself

because it is the only way 

to have a truly intellectual conversation.

~~~

It IS as bad as you think

and they ARE out to get you !!

~~~

It is better to be right and alone 

than to be wrong and have company !

~~~

It is easier to pull down than to build up.

 

It is easier to seek forgiveness than to obtain permission.

 

It is easy to be flexible when one is spineless.

~~~

It is hard to understand

how a cemetery raised it's burial cost

and blamed it on the cost of living.

~~~

It is only the first step that is difficult.

 

It is nice to be nice, but more important to be nice.

 

It matters how, not who.

 

It takes one to know one.

 

It takes two to tango !

 

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.

 

It's all in the attitude !

 

It's an ill wind that blows no good.

 

It's been lovely but I'm going to scream now !!

 

It's better to die standing than to live kneeling !!!

 

It's better to give than to receive.

 

It's better to light a candle than curse the darkness.

 

It's better to wear out than to rust out.

 

It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.

 

It's easy to be brave from a safe distance.

 

It's easy to stand with a crowd...it takes courage to stand alone.

 

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

 

It's like a pig in the poke.

 

It's like buying a pig in a poke.

 

It's like killing two birds with one stone.

 

It's like letting the fox guard the henhouse.

 

It's like looking for a needle in a haystack.

 

It's like robbing Peter to pay Paul.

 

It's like shooting fish in a barrel.

 

It's like six on one hand...and 1/2 dozen on the other.

 

It's like talking to a brick wall.

 

It's like trying to hold the tide back with a broom.

 

It's like walking on egg shells.

 

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

 

It's not over til it's over.

 

It's not over 'til the fat lady sings.

~~~

It's not the length,

It's not the size,

It's how many times

you can make it rise !!

~~~

It's not the size of the dog in the fight,

but the size of fight in the dog.

~~~

It's not what you say that counts,

it's what you do.

~~~

It's raining cats and dogs.

 

It's the empty can that makes the most noise.

 

It's the squeaky wheel that gets the grease.

 

It's the thought that counts.

 

I've always been crazy....it's kept me from going insane !

~~~

I've learned from my mistakes 

and I'm sure I could repeat them exactly.

~~~

Joy is not in things...it is in us.

 

Jumping to conclusions is bad exercise.

 

Just because a mouse is born in a muffin tin...doesn't make him a muffin.

 

Keep on keepin' on !

 

Keep your house picked up.

 

Keep your powder dry.

 

Kindness is the ability to leave people more than they deserve.

~~~

Language is the mirror of the mind.

~~~

Lead me not into temptation....

I can find it myself !

~~~

Leave well enough alone.

 

Let bygones be bygones.

 

Let me get my ducks lined up in  a row.

 

Let no man imagine that he has no influence.

 

Let the chips fall where they may.

 

Let's cross that bridge when we come to it.

 

Light tomorrow with today.

 

Lightening never strikes the same place twice.

 

Like a slow boat to China.

 

Like water off of a duck's back.

~~~

Little things are indeed little 

but to be faithful in little things is a great thing.

~~~

Little things can often be the biggest things in someone else's day !

~~~

Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong

conclusion with confidence.

~~~

Make hay while the sun shines.

 

Make it idiot proof...and someone will make a better idiot !

 

Malice is stupidity raised to a higher power.

 

Many hands make light work.

 

Mind your P's and Q's.

~~~

Mirrors don't talk,

and lucky for you 

they don't laugh either.

~~~

Mistakes are the portals of discovery.

~~~

Mix a little foolishness with your serious plans:

it's lovely to be silly at the right moment.

~~~

Moderation in all things should be practiced sparingly.

 

Monkey see, monkey do.

~~~

Most people are willing to meet each other halfway;

the trouble is, most people

are pretty poor judges of distance.

~~~

Much truth is said in jest.

 

My decision is maybe, and that's final !

 

My feelings are neither right nor wrong....but they are important by virtue of being mine !

 

My idea of a nature walk is crossing the parking lot to the mall.

~~~

My opinions may have changed,

but not the fact that I am right.

~~~

Necessity is the mother of invention.

~~~

Never fear shadows,

it simply means

there is a light

shining nearby.

~~~

No army can withstand

the strength of an idea

whose time has come.

~~~

No act of kindness is ever wasted.

 

No good deed goes unpunished.

 

No is a complete sentence.

 

No man can serve two masters.

 

No man is an island.

 

No matter how much you do....it's never enough !

 

No matter how much you do....you never do enough !

 

No news is good news.

~~

No one ever said it was going to be easy....

but this is ridiculous !!

~~~

No one has ever injured his eyesight 

by looking on the bright side of things !!

~~~

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

~~~

No one is a failure in this world

who lightens a burden for someone else.

~~~

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

 

No rest for the weary.

 

Nonconformists are all alike.

 

Nothing changes if nothing changes.

 

Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.

 

Nothing is permanent but change.

~~~

Nothing is so strong as gentleness,

nothing so gentle as real strength.

~~~

Nothing is as strong as gentleness 

or as gentle as strength.

~~~

Nothing is fool-proof

to a sufficiently talented fool.

~~~

Nothing last forever....not even your troubles.

~~~

Nothing that happens in the world is a coincidence,

everything was meant to happen.

~~~

Now that we're organized...what do we do ?

~~~

Of all the things you wear,

your expression is the most important.

~~~

Oh, what a tangled web we weave

when we practice to deceive.

~~~

Old beekeepers never die, they just buzz off.

 

Old hippies never die, they just smell that way.

 

Once bitten, twice shy.

 

One day at a time.

 

One day I will burst my bud of calm and blossom into hysteria.

 

One man's humor is often another man's pain.

 

One man's junk is another man's treasure.

 

Only dead fish go with the flow.

 

Opportunities are spawned from crisis.

 

Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment !

 

Opportunity is always dressed in "work clothes".

~~~

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is

dressed in overalls and looks like work.

 

~~~

Opportunities multiply as they are seized.

 

Opposites attract.

~~~

Optimists see green,

pessimists see red,

but the truly wise are colorblind.

~~~

Our greatest glory consists not in never falling

but in rising every time we fall.

~~~

Our life is frittered away by detail...

simplify....simplify.

~~~

Out of difficulties grow miracles.

 

Out of sight, out of mind.

 

Out of the frying pan and into the fire.

~~~

Painted skies, lofty dreams,

dare to reach on golden wings.

~~~

People don't care how much you know 

until they know how much you care.

~~~

People who blow kisses....are lazy.

 

People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

~~~

People who spout platitudes 

have attitudes that

allow no latitude.

~~~

Persistence is a great and necessary virtue.

 

Persistence will eventually get you almost anything.

 

Pessimism never won any battles !

 

Poets are born...not made.

 

Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely.

 

Practice makes perfect.

 

Praising all alike, is praising none.

~~~

Prayers are always answered.  

The answer is usually NO....

~~~

Pretty is as pretty does.

 

Pride goeth before the fall.

 

Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.

 

Procrastination is the thief of time.

~~~

Procrastination of vital tasks is a close

relative of incompetence and 

a handmaiden of inefficiency.

~~~

Professionals are predictable...amateurs are DANGEROUS !!

 

Quitcherbitchin

 

Rats know the way of rats.

 

Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.

 

Reality leaves a lot to the imagination.

 

Regret nothing.  Rejoice in everything.

 

Respect is LOVE in plain clothes.

 

Responsibility is to keep the ability to respond.

 

Right thinking leads to right living.

 

Rome wasn't built in a day.

 

Rumors are the tools of the ignorant.

 

Sanity is the playground for the unimaginative !!

 

Save the best for last.

 

Scatter seeds of kindness...wherever you go.

 

Scrapping to bottom of the barrel.

 

Seeking empties a life; giving fills it.

 

Seeing is believing.

 

Self praise is no praise at all.

 

Share and share alike.

~~~

She's always late.

Her ancestors arrived on the

Juneflower.

~~~

Should you find yourself the victim

of other people's bitterness,

ignorance, smallness, or insecurities...

remember things could be worse....

you could be them ~!~

~~~

Sink or swim.

 

Some days you're the pigeon....some days you're the statue.

 

Some days, the dragon wins.

 

Some dress to conceal a shabby soul.

~~~

Someday we will look back at this,

laugh nervously,

and change the subject.

~~~

Someone else's calamity doesn't add up to your own wisdom.

~~~

Someone who thinks logically 

provides a nice contrast to the real world.

~~~

Sometimes it hurts to be on the cutting edge.

~~~

Sometimes the poorest man 

leaves his children 

the richest inheritance.

~~~

Sometimes there is more to gain in being wrong than being right.

 

Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough.

~~~

Sometimes we are so busy adding up our troubles 

that we forget to count our blessings.

~~~

Sometimes we forget to turn off the sound 

when the mind goes blank.

~~~

Sooner or later

every person opens his mouth

and puts his foot in,

but only a baby

is admired for doing it.

~~~

Sowing wild oats can lead to a sad harvest.

~~~

Speak the truth...but leave immediately after !

~~~

Sticks and stones can break my bones, 

but words can never hurt me.

~~~

Still waters run deep.

~~~

Streams become crooked 

from taking the path of least resistance

...so do people.

~~~

Strike while the iron is hot.

~~~

Suppose you were an idiot

and suppose you were a 

member of Congress.

But I repeat myself.

~~~

Tact and truth often block one another.

 

Tact is knowing how far to go in going too far.

 

Talent is flame. Genius is fire.

~~~

Talk is cheap....except when Congress does it.

 

Talk is cheap...it takes money to buy whiskey.

~~~

Talk is cheap

Supply exceeds demand

~~~

Talking like a Dutch uncle.

~~~

Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and

he will believe you.  Tell him the bench has wet paint on it

and he'll have to touch it to be sure.

~~~

That each sorrow has it's purpose

By the sorrowing oft unguessed,

But as sure as the sun brings mourning

Whatever is-is best.

~~~

That's a tough row to hoe.

 

That's like the pot calling the kettle black.

 

That's the last straw.

 

That's the straw that broke the camel's back.

 

That's the way the ball bounces.

~~~

The best and most beautiful things in the world 

cannot be seen or even touched.

They must be felt from the heart.

~~~

The best bridge between hope and despair 

is often a good night's sleep.

~~~

The best laid plans of mice and men.

 

The best things in life are free !!

 

The best way to get the last word is to apologize !

~~~

The Cleanliness of Theory is nothing when compared 

to the Mess of Reality !

~~~

The difference between the possible 

and impossible lies in a person's determination.

~~~

The best cure for insomnia is a Monday morning.

 

The best leader is a good follower.

~~~

The best things in life are never rationed. 

Friendship, loyalty, love do not require coupons.

~~~

The best thing about the future is that it comes

only one day a time.

~~~

The best thing since sliced bread.

~~~

The best time to relax 

is when you don't have time to.

~~~

The bigger they are, the harder they fall.

 

The bond of companionship is conversation.

 

The company you keep will determine the trouble you meet.

 

The early bird still has to eat worms.

 

The empty vessel rings the loudest.

 

The expert in anything was once a beginner.

 

The eyes are the window to the soul.

 

The facts, although they may be interesting, are irrelevant.

 

The faster I go the behinder I get.

 

The fastest I go the hurrier I get.

~~~

The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, 

but the fly comes close.

~~~

The Great Spirit....

put in your heart

certain wishes and plans;

in my heart, he put other desires.

Each man is good in the sight of the Great Spirit.

~~~

The greatest possession you have is the 24 hours directly in front of you.

~~~

The greener grass on the other side

is probably artificial turf anyways.

~~~

The happiest families are those in which 

the children are properly spaced about ten feet apart.

~~~

The hardness of the butter is proportional 

to the softness of the bread.

~~~

The Legend of the Feather

I am an angel feather...

Sent from God above...

To serve as a reminder...

of his gracious love.

 ~~~

The lesser of two evils is still an evil.

~~~

The light at the end of the tunnel is a muzzle flash...

or an oncoming train.

~~~

The meek don't want it.

 

The more he spoke of his honesty....the closer I watched my purse.

 

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

~~~

The next time you're feeling down,

just think about all the terrible things

that didn't happen to you.

~~~

The only fair way to talk about someone

is to speak as though you knew they were listening.

~~~

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all...is the

person who argues with him.

~~~

The only constant since the beginning of time is change.

 

The only perfect science is hindsight.

 

The only reason for making honey is so as I can eat it.

 

The only thing domestic about me is that I live indoors.

 

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

~~~

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

~~~

The narrower a man's mind, 

the broader his statements.

~~~

The past is history, the future a mystery, 

today is a gift, that's why we call it the present.

~~~

The pen is mightier than the sword.

 

The price of greatness is responsibility.

 

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

 

The proof is in the pudding.

~~~

The race is not always to the swift,

but that's the way to bet.

~~~

The real art of conversation

is not only to say the right thing at the right time,

but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing

at the tempting moment.

~~~

The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

~~~

The secret of contentment is the realization 

that life is a gift not a right.

~~~

The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.

~~~

The shallowest stream

usually make the loudest noise !

~~~

The shortest answer is doing.

 

The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up !!

 

The speed of the leader determines the rate of the pack.

 

The sun sets without your assistance.

~~~

The things that come to those that wait

may be the things left by those

who got there first.

~~~

The third time's a charm.

~~~

The three hardest tasks in the world are neither physical feats 

nor intellectual achievements, 

but moral acts: to return love for hate, 

to include the excluded,

 and to say I was wrong.

~~~

The tighter you squeeze, the less you have.

~~~

The tongue weighs practically nothing,

but so few people can hold it.

~~~

The trouble with the guy who talks too fast 

is that he often says something he hasn't thought of yet.

~~~

The very thing that you feel is going to destroy you 

may be the thing that will make you,

 and what you feel may be the end of you, 

may well be the beginning.

~~~

The whole nine yards.

~~~

The whole world steps aside for the man 

who knows where he is going.

~~~

The wiser you get, the more you realize how little you know.

~~~

The woods would be very silent 

if no birds sang except the best.

~~~

The world is full of cactus....

but it doesn't mean you have to sit on it.

~~~

The world today is hungry not only for bread 

but hungry for love, 

hungry to be wanted 

and hungry to be loved.

~~~

The 50-50-90 Rule:

Anytime you have a 50-50 chance

of getting something right,

there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

~~~

There are few hours in life more agreeable than afternoon tea.

 

There are no atheists in foxholes.

 

There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.

 

There are no substitutes for fresh air, sunshine and exercise.

 

There are too many Chiefs and not enough Indians.

~~~

There are two ways of spreading the light:

to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.

~~~

There are usually three sides to a controversy:

yours, other person's and the right side.

~~~

There is no disgrace in falling down...the disgrace is lying there.

 

There is no failure except in no longer trying.

~~~

There is no time like the present for postponing

what you ought to be doing.

~~~

There is not a pillow so soft as a clear conscience.

~~~

There is not limit to the good a human can do

if they don't care who gets the credit.

~~~

There is nothing in this world as strong as your belief in yourself.

 

There is nothing so nice as a cheerful word.

~~~

There will always be death and taxes.

However, death doesn't get worse every year.

~~~

There's a lot to be said for breathing.

 

There's no fool like an old fool.

 

There's more than one way to skin a cat.

 

There's no place like home.

 

There's nothing more frightening than ignorance in action.

 

They talk most who have the least to say.

 

Things are never so bad....that they can't be worse.

~~~

Think !  Maybe the Joneses

are trying to keep up with you  !!

 

Thorough preparation makes its own luck !

~~~

Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others 

cannot keep it from themselves.

~~~

Those who live by the sword

get shot by those who don't.

~~~

Those who speak loudest always have the least to say.

~~~

Those who try to do something and fail are much better off than 

those who try and do nothing and succeed.

~~~

Three months from every thunder in February,

it will come a frost.

~~~

Time exists solely to prevent everything from happening at once.

 

Time flies like the wind, fruit flies like bananas.

 

Time flies when you're having fun.

 

Time heals all wounds.

 

Times waits for no man.

~~~

"Tis a lesson you should heed,

try, try again.

If at first you don't succeed,

try, try again.

~~~

To be good is noble;

but to show others

how to be good

is nobler and no trouble.

~~~

To err is human, to criticize divine.

 

To guess is cheap, to guess wrong is expensive.

~~~

To the world you may only be one person,

but to one person...you may be the world.

~~~

To thine ownself be true.

~~~

Toe the line.

 

Tomorrow is today's greatest labor-saving device.

 

Too much of a good thing is wonderful.

 

Too much sunshine makes a desert.

~~~

Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion

without the discomfort of thought.

~~~

Truth is stranger than fiction.

~~~

Truth is such a rare thing;

it is delightful to tell it.

~~~

Trust in God but lock your door..!!

 

Truth is the only safe ground to stand upon.

 

Two heads are better than one.

~~~

Two things stand like stone:

Kindness in another's troubles.

Courage in your own.

~~~

Two wrongs don't make a right.

 

Two's company, three's a crowd.

 

Try to imagine how little I care.

 

Turn about is fair play.

 

Unreasonable haste is the direct road to error.

 

Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without.

~~~

Use the talents you possess 

for the woods would be very silent 

if no birds sang except the best.

~~~

Use your head....it's the little things that count !

 

Usually people who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.

 

Variety is the spice of life.

~~~

Very often a change of self is needed more 

than a change of scenery.

~~~

Vision is the art of seeing things invisible.

~~~

Waiting for the other shoe to drop.

 

Warning: The dates on the calendar are closer than they appear.

 

Was today really necessary??

 

Washing your car to make it rain doesn't work !!

~~~

We are here on earth to do good to others,

What the others are here for, I do not know.

~~~

We better live as we think,

otherwise we shall end up

by thinking as we have liked.

~~~

We could learn a lot from crayons;

some are sharp, some are pretty,

some are dull, while others are bright,

some have weird names, but they all

learned to live together in same box.

~~~

We don't know one millionth of one percent about anything.

 

We don't know who we are, until we see what we can do !!

~~~

We grow like the things

we think about.

~~~

We have enough youth....how about

a fountain of SMART ?

~~~

We never know the worth of water till the well is dry.

)

~~~

We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

 

We're all a bunch of atoms in some giants toenail !!

~~~

We've been through a lot together....

and most of it was your fault !!

~~~

What goes around.....comes around !

 

What goes up, must come down.

~~~

What hangs people

is the unfortunate circumstance of guilt.

~~~

What lies before us are tiny matters, 

compared to what lies within us.

~~~

What will be, will be.

 

What you get free...costs too much.

 

What you give you get, ten times over.

~~~

What you have become is the price you paid

to get what you used to want.

~~~

Whatever satisfies the soul is truth.

~~~

Whatever you are, be a good one.

 

What's meant to be will always find a way.

 

What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

~~~

Whatever's clever !!

 

When all else fails, panic.

~~~

When everything is said and done, 

more has been said than done.

~~~

When I do good

I feel good.

When I do bad

I feel bad.

And that's my religion.

~~~

When I do something right, nobody ever remembers it;

When I do something wrong, nobody ever forgets it.

~~~

When in doubt, don't.

 

When in doubt....Throw it out ~!~

 

When it rains, it pours.

 

When one is helping another both are strong.

~~~

When push comes to shove.

~~~

When the chips are down,

the buffalo is empty.

~~~

When we have a "pet peeve"...

it's amazing how often we pet it.

~~~

When you come to the end of your rope....

tie a knot and hang on.

~~~

When you fail to prepare, you prepare to fail.

~~~

When you get to the end of your rope,

tie a knot and swing !

~~~

When you have nothing to say, say nothing.

~~~

When you sneer and point your finger...

don't forget three fingers are pointing back at you.

~~~

When you spend your life worrying about how other people feel, 

you lose track of how you feel. 

~~~

When your throwin' your weight around, 

be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.

~~~

Where's your raisins ?

 

Whoever gossips to you will be a gossip of you.

 

Wonder is the basis of worship.

 

Wise men learn much from fools.  Wise guys don't.

~~~

Wisely and slow; they stumble that run fast.

~~~

With great power

comes great responsibility.

~~~

Worrying is like a rocking chair...

it gives you something to do

but it really doesn't get you anywhere.

~~~

Wouldn't it be nice if we could see our mistakes 

for what they cost us ??

~~~

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow a mystery. 

Today is a gift. That's why we call it the present.

~~~

Yesterday's laughter...is worth remembering.

 

You are what you eat.

 

You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

~~~

You can fool some of the people all of the time,

and you can fool all of the people some of the time,

but you can't fool all the people all of the time.

~~~

You can like almost everybody if you try.

 

You can never go home again.

~~~

You can never tell which way the train is coming from by

looking at the track.

~~~

You can't get blood from a turnip.

 

You can't get much done by starting tomorrow.

 

You can't have your cake and eat it too.

 

You can't lead a horse to water...but a pencil must be lead.

 

You can't shovel smoke.

 

You can't unring a bell.

 

You don't have a leg to stand on.

 

You get out of it what you put into it.

~~~

You have the right to be stupid, 

but that does not mean you should be.

~~~

You have to break a few eggs to make an omelet.

 

You have to go by instinct and you have to be brave.

~~~

You have to have a bad day

to know what a good one looks like.

~~~

You have to reap what you sow.

 

You win only if you aren't afraid to lose.

 

Your eyes are bigger than your stomach.

 

 Your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.

~~~

You're barking up the wrong tree.

~~~

You're damned if you do

and damned if you don't.

~~~

You're never a loser until you quit trying.

~~~

You're not as dumb as you look...

nobody could look THAT dumb.

~~~

You're preaching to the choir.

 

You're young and on your first set of legs.

 

You've made your bed, now lie in it.