Cooking

 

A skinny cook can't be trusted !

 

A watched pot never boils...

 

Annoying the cook will result in smaller portions.

 

Complaints to the Cook...can be hazardous to your health !

 

Cookin' ????  What is that ????

 

Got more time for misbehavin'....since I started microwaving...!!

 

Hey good lookin'......what's cookin'..???

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HOME COOKING

Like Mother used to do

before cigarettes and soap operas.

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Kitchen closed due to illness:  I am sick of COOKING !!

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I am not a fast cook,

I am not a slow cook,

I am a half-fast cook.

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I came...I saw....I decided to order take out !

 

I cook with wine...Sometimes I even put it in the food !

 

I don't cook on days that end in Y ....

 

I kiss better than I cook...!!

 

I made my favorite thing for dinner....a reservation.

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I would cook dinner but I

can't find the can opener !

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If God wanted me to cook,

why did he invent restaurants ???

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If yer lookin' for home cookin'.....Go home !!!

 

If you don't like my cooking, lower your standards.

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If you want breakfast in bed ...

sleep in the kitchen.

Bed and Breakfast.... you make both.

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Just say NO to cookin'....

 

Kiss the cook !!

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My family eats from all of the food groups.

Fast, Frozen, Canned and Microwaveable...!!

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My favorite recipe.....eat out !!

 

My favorite recipe....order in !!

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My wife treats me like a god;

I get a burnt offering at every meal.

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Never...ever...trust a skinny cook !!!

 

Old cooks never die, they just get deranged.

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Only the pure of heart can make good soup!!!!!

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Open the oven, take a look;

first to complain...

is next week's cook !!

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She who cooks, never cleans !

 

The perfect food would taste as good as fresh popcorn smells !

 

The way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

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Today's Menu:

Take it or Leave it...!!

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Too many cooks...Spoil the broth.

 

When I learned how to cook...I forgot how to clean !!